Random thoughts on a Friday afternoon. Sue me..
'ECILOP'..
That's how 'Police' in the UK is spelt in front of their cars..
Wrong way round..
So when they're following you and u look in the rear view mirror you won't have to guess who it is..
My friend Zee lost her baby.. The baby’s vital organs weren’t developed enough to survive..
I wrote her a poem that I was going to post.. But it made me feel worse when I re-read it.
So I didn’t, as she reads my blog as well.
Thanks a lot to everyone that left supportive messages..
She saw ‘em.. and it made a difference..
Does anyone else chew sweets?
I chew sweets all the time. I don't lick.. suck or whatever..
I whizz through peppermints at the speed of light, just crunching along happily.
Once in a while I think about it though.. Am I weird?
An ex once told me she had ovarian cysts, that could potentially develop into fibroids...
Her dad had kidney problems and was diabetic...
Her mom had had a partial stroke a few years earlier..
We broke up not long after.
Weird coincidence, of course...
Meanwhile, does anyone else vex when they see the way Africa is depicted on non-African tv stations? That ish gets on my nervessssss...
Or am I just weird, again?
Was in Lagos for three weeks for a wedding...
Met her at the wedding..
She was bridesmaid, I was a grooms man..
Said she'd been celibate & 'bobo'-less for 3 years..
Four days later, we talking in my hotel room, somewhere off Opebi.
The one with the staccato air conditioning..
She’s wearing a mini & a floral spaghetti top.. without the spaghetti's.
Reception calls when they see her hail okada, one hour later..
To crosscheck I haven't been drugged and robbed..
Or robbed and drugged, as the case maybe..
She stops off to get condoms from Juli pharmacy..
& Charcolate chicken from Tastee..
Spends the night..
"Usually I don't do this" she whispers..
I re-acquaint her with what she'd been missing for 36 months plus..
She was eager to make up for lost time..
Eager to clear out all the cobwebs..
Wee hours of midnight, she whispers “You make me feel like a woman”..
Next morning.. showered..
Looking fresh to death..
Sits on the bed, facing me..
Legs crossed in yoga position..
Looking all serious, she asks..
"Now that you've seen my C.V..... do I get the job?"
Do I look like the head of a human resources department?
Have a good weekend people!!
A Cobweb Clearance..
Everybody Nose..
I was lying on a bed that felt.. sinfully soft..
And the view..
Was glorious..
Her hair, fresh from a steamy shower, was wet..
Her eyes, closed in orgasmic expectancy..
Nipple rings glistened off the rays of the rising sun, straying through the open curtains..
Her tummy honed from years of pounding treadmills..
Knees bent as she squatted..
Her third piercing..
Hovered just above my face..
Just above my lips..
Nestled in a delicate place between her legs..
Between those labia majora lips..
I flicked at it..
Spelling imaginary letters of the alphabet with my tongue..
Swirling in circles and straight lines round the little silver ring..
Not sure what it was exactly..
The general ambience of the room..
Or the redbull & vodka coursing through our veins..
Or my vicious tongue game..
’Cause one minute..
She was sighing quietly..
Her body rocking backwards & forwards..
The next minute..
She was talking gibberish..
"Do you la la la... baby?
Ohhh.. it's so.. Ah.. Slooo..
Bay.. Baby.. See how.. No..
Oh no.. I don't want to.. Oh no..
Don't let me.. Please don't let..
What are you.. what are you doi.."
She paused..
For a few seconds..
Then her body quaked..
Letting out a blood curling wail..
A couple of minutes later..
She was lying besides me..
An occasional shiver traversing her body..
"Damn..!! That was gooooood.." She said smiling smugly, looking sideways at me.. "I did say you'd enjoy finding my little gem.."
"Uhm.. Only you forgot to mention you're a walking tsunami", I replied, as I looked round for tissue...
She reached across to hold my hands down..
As she licked her juice trails off me..
My ears..
My cheeks..
My neck..
Slowly.. Sensually..
"You know what you're doing to me, don't you?” I whispered hoarsely..
She glanced over her shoulder, saying "Roc, I can SEE what I'm doing to you"
"You know.." She kissed me "..what I.." and kissed me "..feel like.." and kissed me, "..right now?" she asked as she kissed me again.
"What? " I asked, watching her warily...
"Everybody nose" she replied, as she stepped off the bed..
My eyebrows creased, as I tried to make sense of what she said "You've lost me babe, 'everybody knows' what? "
"Roccc!! Not 'everybody knows'.. I meant.. ", she giggled, "..Everybody nose" tapping her nose for emphasis.
Reaching into her handbag..
She brought out a slim metallic case..
And showed me the contents..
“Coke baby..” she said
Pouring a bit on the table..
She made a straight line with a bank card..
Whipped out a little straw..
And glanced at me..
“Are you still lying there, Roc?”
Speechless then & speechless now..
Yesterday was a bit odd..
Every couple of minutes..
The rain and sunshine kept interchanging..
And every couple of minutes..
My usually-calm-mind went into overdrive..
My emotional sided brain was mulling over..
What post to should go up next..
There's the sequel to my last post, ‘When celibacy calls’, titled, 'So Google wrote me'
There's the sequel to Paige's story, ‘Nipples & Nibbles’, tentatively titled 'Me, you & who??'
There's my take on a little excerpt from Ms. Shona's manuscript, that I titled, 'Death was her addiction'.
There's the sequel to Emem's story ‘Every girl’s got a secret’, tentatively titled 'Sex Weed, Everybody Nose'
Then there are a couple of in-the-pipeline posts..
'Roc, Rape & Retribution', as well as, 'Arranged marriage needed! ASAP!'
However, my rationale sided brain was also telling me to..
Finish sorting out the designs for Rocnaija Apparel & get that site up and running..
Read the small print on book publishing that my friend thoughtfully sent across..
And start working on that collection of short erotic exotic stories, that might one day evolve into a book..
GidiBlogs..
Plus, I hadn't even touched my 'Spoken Visuals' concept, inspired by the spoken word..
Coupled with my day job.. And my usual random thought process..
Yesterday was a bit odd..
Somewhere in between though.. I had a call from Zainab..
Might go more in-depth about her someday..
But basically, I've known her for about seven years..
She's been through some harsh & dire situations..
I was one of the few people she knew she could count on asides from her family.
After loads of different stuff.. She finally moved to the UK.
In a better zone, mentally & financially, but going on 37 with no man was hard...
Anyways, she finally met someone..
They been married a year plus some..
They’re both not young.. and they were trying hard for a baby..
But no luck.. So it meant more drama from his family..
Then some months back.. she called.. she was ecstatic.. she was pregnant..
After all the prayers.. the drugs.. the day-counting.. the hospital check-up's.. the tears..
I was so glad for her, I was speechless.. didn’t know what to say..
Yesterday, we spoke again..
Zee: Hi, Roc..
Roc: Hey! What’s up?
Zee: I’m in the hospital..
Roc: Really??? Why?? What’s wrong? What’re you doing there?
Zee: Noticed some blood, two days ago.. The doctors did some checks.. and they said my womb had opened..
Roc: WHAT?! How? Why?
Zee: They did a surgical procedure to tighten it.. and they said to go home and just monitor it and call if anything happens..
Roc: Oh.. So what happened..?
Zee: My water broke yesterday.. and I’ve been having contractions..
Roc: How far gone are you?
Zee: Twenty three weeks and two days, today. The doctors said the baby or myself might catch an infection with the water breaking.. But the chances of the baby's survival are next to nothing.
Roc: Nooooo... How old does the baby have to be?
Zee: At least 24 weeks, to at least have a slim chance of surviving.. I’m a week short..
Roc: Oh no.. How about your hubby? Have you told your mom?
Zee: He’s here.. Yeah, I've told her.. She's praying..
Roc: I’m speechless Zee… We can only pray.. That’s all we can do.. Pray.
Zee: I know.. I’ve cried so much over the last few days.. but me crying isn’t helping matters or changing anything..
Roc: What hospital are you in?
Zee: St. Mary’s..
Roc: Okay.. I’m driving now.. I’ll call you back when I get home..
Zee: Alright Roc, talk to you later..
Roc: Yeah.. Bye..
Zee: Bye..
When celibacy calls..
Just a couple of random thoughts here..
Bored.. On a train home..
Never blogged on a Sunday..
Don't think I have anyways..
So breaking a meaningless unspoken rule..
Flabby & Loila - 'loosely based on true occurrences' a la Roc definition..
Real people, real situations..
But sequence & timing of events might differ in some cases.
Sometimes identities are protected.. And sometimes not.
Why are trains so noisy?
Can't someone come up with some electromagnetic technique?
Where trains just hover over the railtrack..
Using GPS or something to stay on course?
Ms. Shona didn't get my 'Kanye - Good life' gag on her last post. :(
Best philosophy for when celibacy calls?
Switch your phone off!
"Sorry bro, no network"
Thinking about having guest-bloggers on rocnaija..
On a monthly basis.. or something..
So if you're interested holla at your boy..
For early adapters with internet-enabled phones..
I’ve just re-upped a ‘RocNaija on your mobile’ link..
At the top of this homepage..
Quicker upload time for your iphones, pda’s and all that..
Uhm.. Just out of curiosity..
Can you get sore throat from cunninglin-kini?
A few good people seemed to misunderstand my penultimate post..
Waste of saliva.. As a critique of gossip sites like bossip & perez hilton..
Wasn’t the case..
They get paid to do it.. Can’t hate on their grind..
Got an email from some travel company in Asia..
Wanting to place ads on rocnaija..
I reckon I'll wait & hope LaSenza rings.. someday..
A friend wants an appreciation day after every birthday.
Says “one day just isn't enough.”
I think it's easier to just name the month after yourself, like this dude right here..
He even a month after his mom..
Does anyone believe in horoscopy, psychics, palm readers & all that bladderdash?
Here's what mine said in the londonpaper last week.
Click to enlarge
And yes, the sole reason for mentioning that, is to alert you.
October sounds pretty boring, Roctober has a nice ring to it, no..?
Anyways some weeks back, Google wrote me a letter..
**Hmm.. this post is getting too long.. So, more on Google after the cut.**
Have a good week beautiful people!!
READ MORE...Every girl's got a secret.
I didn't look at the number.. I just picked it when it rang..
“Can you pick me up at Kings Cross station, in about three hours, Roc?”
“Why?” I replied “What’s happening at Kin.. Wait.. hold on a sec..”
Quick glance at the number again.. Perplexed..
“Hey, I thought you were in France?” I said..
“I am! But I'm getting the Eurostar any minute now.. Swapped sim cards early... So, quick, can you?”
“Uh.. uhm.. no worries.. call me when you get in..” I said
“Aww.. thanks! You’re a star!”
I hung up..
Surprised the call even came through in the first place..
I’d not seen Emem in close to two years..
Or heard from her, for that matter..
We’d always had a platonic..
But not-so-platonic relationship..
We’d kissed but not a lot..
Touched but not a lot..
Never really gone beyond that..
Then.. she said, she’d met someone..
She was moving to France with him..
Plus she was tired of London..
Plus she’d learn a new language..
Plus..
The list went on..
Three hours & a quarter later..
She walked out..
Looking prettier than I last remembered..
We hugged.. talked.. laughed..
She was hungry.. For a burger..
I put her suitcase in the car boot..
And we walked..
I watched as she picked out the pickles from her Big Mac..
She really did look.. different..
Looking at her quizzically, I asked “Did you.. dye your hair?”
She giggled.. “I didn’t think you would notice.. Had did it like this for about five months”
“How come? What did…” raising my eyebrows “..have to say about it?”
“Oh him.. we broke up just before I did it.. so in some ways dying my hair was kinda like therapy for me”
“Really? Aww..” I said, smiling as I feigned pain.
She laughed.. “Don’t even go there..”
“So what else did you do..? Scratch his car? Paint Monaco red on with his credit card?”
She smiled at me mischievously..
Her lipstick staining the straw she sucked on..
“I... I’ll just show you” she said, leaning forward..
She placed her left hand over my right..
And pulled it towards her left breast..
She wasn’t wearing a bra..
I could feel her sheer blouse..
I could feel her nipple..
And I could feel metal..
“Girl! You didn’t!!” I chortled, drawing away, shocked..
“Oh yes I did! Both of them..” she had that mischievous smile again.. “…and …somewhere else.”
“Really?!”
“Hmmm.. Roccccc!!” she said as she laughed.. “What are you thinking?”
“Err.. Nothing.. How come you never told me..”
“My lil’ secret, Roc.. Every girl’s got one.. Besides..” she replied as she finished her drink and reached for her coat. “..it’ll be more fun watching you find out yourself.”
Waste of saliva!
Looking up from the computer game she was playing..
Sara said, "Can I ask you a question, mom?”
Even without hearing those words, Ann knew what was coming..
She had been expecting a barrage of questions from her inquisitive fourteen year old daughter..
Especially as she’d been witness to the vociferous argument from the night before..
She gripped the steering wheel a bit more, as she responded.. "Go on Sara..”
"When you and Uncle Roberto were arguing yesterday..”
"Yeah..”
"Do you know the people that he said were talking about you?”
"No..”
"So why were you so angry then, mom?”
Watching the traffic ahead, Ann took a deep breathe and said..
“I wasn't angry dear, your uncle was just getting on my nerves.. I don’t mind people talking about me.. People will mainly talk about you for two reasons, because you're relevant and because their own lives are too boring to discuss, so they'd prefer to discuss yours.”
“I really hate it when people talk about me in school mom..”
“Sara honey, there’s only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
“But Uncle Roberto wanted you to con.. con..”
“Confront?”
“Yes! Confront.. He wanted you to confront them, didn’t he?”
“Yes.. And that’s why we were arguing. Listen, if a person devotes just ten minutes of their time talking about you.. That’s ten minutes of their world revolving around you.. Ten minutes that they could have spent thinking about bettering their own future.. but you were more important.
Sara giggled at her moms favorite phrase..
Goodbye kisses..
Clattering lunch boxes..
Ann navigated her Range Rover into the school car park..
She turned to face her daughter..
And cupped her face in her hands..
“If you don’t remember anything about this morning.. Remember this..
So keep praying those small minds focus on talking about you.. You, my dear, shall focus on becoming great”
Leaning in, she quickly kissed her mom goodbye..
And scampered off..
Pleasure denied..
***Appreciate all your comments on my last post.. A bit off my commenting game at the minute.. But I'll make it up to y'all.. Somehow..***
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She’d sat up..
Nibbled on her lower lip
And asked me, “Would you mind?”
“Mind what?” I replied, squinting at her...
She glanced round the room..
Curtains drawn..
Clothes strewn across the floor..
Half bottle of red wine.. sweating on the table..
The muted television flickered..
Dimly illuminating the room
“If I tied you up...” she said..
Fifteen minutes later.. there I was..
Hands tied to the bed rails above my head..
Naked..
Watching her as she walked across the room..
Visions of a Sharon Stone in 'Basic Instinct' made me all the more wary..
She clambered on the bed and settled in between my legs..
Her hands trailed along my thighs as she bent down..
She tickled.. she teased.. she circled..
Then.. she descended..
Taking me in her mouth as far as she could..
Her fingers trailing my perineum ever so lightly..
Coming up for air.. she descended again..
And again.. and again..
My hands fought their restraints..
My tongue spoke gibberish..
My knees quivered..
My toes curled..
She knew..
Knowing she had me just where she wanted me..
Seemed to turn her on more..
There I lay.. Seconds away from filling her mouth..
She stopped..
“Wha.. Wha.. What are you doing?” I stuttered..
She sat up..
Her fingers holding me at the base..
Saliva dripping through her fingers..
She waited a few seconds before speaking..
“Calm down dear.. I’m going to sit on top of you now..”
Chinese whispers..!!
“What’s that..” he asked me
“It’s a phrase that describes how something is heard through word of mouth.. and people distort the original message as it travels from one person to the next...
Almost always is a variation of what was originally said” I replied..
So I gave him an example..
Girl to Boy : “I think racism exists but it sucks when applied to real life.”
Boy to Boy: “Dude, y’know Girl is racist right?! Yeah, she told me herself”
Amusing how stuff like that happens on the regular..
Roc been thinking.. about getting a tattoo..
Emphasis on the word, thinking..
So, I mention it to lil’ sister..
& she mentions it to someone..
& someone mentions it to someone..
Next thing my dad calls me..
“I hear you’ve got a tattoo now.. A huge one”
Amused, I said.. “Nah dad.. it’s just Chinese whispers..”
“What’s that..” he asked me
~~~~~~~~
Anyways, here are a couple of tats I've seen online & been intruiged by..
Tilting towards the last two..
Maybe I should consider an open poll on rocnaija to solicit your opinion..
~~~~~~~~~~
A pretty woman and a beautiful body.. I'm thinking only Angelina can carry off a look like this
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lady-scaping .. lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Now this right here, would affirm my love for bloggin'!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Two thoughts when I first saw this.. "How long did that take to get done?! & she's got a great mouth"
Have a beautiful week, people!