Shout out to all the commenters on my previous post!
I was sort of caught in between responding or not, seeing as I had a guest blogging..
Appreciate all the feedback though.. Y'all too gbaski! :)
Took on board the critique as well..
Seeing as I have a new guest, blogging on Monday or Tuesday..
I'll be looking forward to everyone's feedback on that too..
In other news..
I've been looking to change cars..
Get something more.. whatchamicallit..?!
Anyways, there I am, browsing a few car shops online..
And I noticed a lot of car manufacturers take low shots at each other, in their car ads..
As in, proper beef, but it still struck me as hilarious..
So, apparently Jaguar started it, slagging off BMW's M5..
BMW responded swiftly, with this ad underneath..
Note the Jaguar icon on the hood taking flight on sighting the BMW?
Not content at just taking shots at the Jaguar brand, they got Audi in on the act..
After seeing that, I was like "Damn!"
That.. was until I saw Audi's response..
Six consecutive Le Mans races..
Showed consistency, efficiency and mechanical excellence..
I couldn't think of anyone else who could top that..
Until.. I saw Bentley's response..
Classic!
Have you seen any funny car ad's recently?
Stay blessed beautiful people!!
Tickling my fancy on a Friday..
Bubbles... on the Roc!
A while back, I wrote a post about opening rocnaija to guest bloggers..
PS. If the writing style looks similar to my usual posts, it's because I adapted it a bit..
Eerily quiet..
Except for just one sound..
Tic.. Toc.. Tic.. Toc..
I glanced over at my table clock..
It’s green metallic base, reflected the lone bulb in the room..
It was the same one I’d seen online and fallen for at first sight..
The same one my mom had given me over Christmas..
All wrapped up in my favorite pink-colored wrapping paper..
The same one she had..
The slight movement beneath me broke me out of my reverie..
His hardness was pressed firmly against the base of my spine..
His arms wrapped around my waist..
His labored breathe rustling the hair on the back of my neck..
I’d always known this day would come..
I had read too many books.. Seen too many films.. Heard too many tales..
I felt I was ready..
Ready to lose it to someone I truly cared about..
Ready to.. pop my cherry
Ready to finally lose my virginity..
Not like this though..
This was not how I imagined my first time…
I’d pictured a bed..
Maybe some silk sheets..
Sweet nothings in my ear..
Butterfly kisses all over my body..
But on a hard uncomfortable chair in my college room?!
No! Definitely not like this..
He flicked open my bra hooks..
And ran his fingers lightly down my back..
I felt the goose bumps on my skin before I saw them..
“You ready?” he whispered, as his fingers roved..
My back.. My rib cage.. My waist.. My thighs..
“I.. I.. I think so.. ” I stammered in return..
A mental battle raged in my head..
“What if I was terrible?” “What if I didn’t have a clue what to do?” “Wouldn’t he compare me with all his past lovers?” But the further his fingers travelled, the harder it became to think..
“Are you sure?” he asked, as I turned round to face him..
Legs apart.. Gingerly easing myself on to him, I bit my lip and nodded..
Couldn’t bring myself to say a word..
I reached down to grasp him..
The feel of his bare skin sent shock waves through me..
“You are not wearing.. a condom?” I whispered, my eyes widening in shock..
He looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights..
“Uhm.. y’know.. you can’t really get pregnant the first time.. And uhm.. y’know we could just.. y’know.. do it for like a minute.. I’ll just put it in.. but…”
“Are you freaking kiddin’ me??” I retorted, rising back to full length.. “That’s not gonna happen.. forget it.”
“Oh! Come on!! Just a minute..” desperacy creeping into his voice, “I promise, not longer than a minute.. please!”
He put my forefinger in between his lips..
And sucked it.. slowly..
I felt my iron-cast resolve weaken..
Then, it evaporated..
I barely recognized my voice as it croaked..
“Fine... Just one minute.”
Closing my eyes..
Images flashed at the speed of light..
Pink wrapping paper..
My clock..
My mom..
Her words of advice..
One minute?
18 years of keeping my virginity..
18 years!
And he only wanted it for one minute!!
I shook my head vigorously..
“I don’t think I’m ready.. not just yet.” He sighed in exasperation…
“But I’m horny… can you at least suck me or something??” I got up and crossing my arms to cover my modesty..
“That’s not going to happen..” I said, emphasizing each word, as I picked up my clothes,
“I think its best you leave, now”
He glared at me as he dressed up..
Not a word exchanged..
Then swearing under his breathe..
He nudged the table as he stormed out..
Slamming the door shut behind him..
And sending my table clock crashing to the floor in his wake..
Thoughtfully, I stood there and uttered a quick prayer..
I thanked God for giving me the strength to avoid a possible mistake..
With only one sound piercing my train of thought..
Tic.. Toc.. Tic.. Toc..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a wrap, people.. :)
One.
A yellow dress in the distance..
I had my Google reader open..
167 unread messages and counting..
It was something else that made me look up though..
The boy in seat 20C was crying again..
He’d been at it intermittently, since lift off..
He didn’t look a day older than two..
And at that age, it’s probably to be expected..
The wailing got a bit louder..
He sounded like he was in pain..
Or just extremely cranky..
His mom sighed and muttered under her breathe..
His dad stood up, again..
Blue tee shirt..
Big yellow ‘S’ across his chest..
Lifting his son up, he stood rocking him between the dimly-lit aisles..
Whispering soothing words in his ear..
People, with full bladders, circumnavigated them, heading for the toilets in the rear..
Air hostesses hustled past, running a variety of errands..
Father and son..
Little arms round his dad’s neck..
He whimpered as he succumbed to the clutches of sleep..
A sight to behold..
The only thing missing.. was a cape.
“Superdad..” I chuckled inwardly, from my seat in 24A..
Tearing my eyes away, I glanced back at the little gadget in my hand..
Then at the Indian bloke sitting besides me..
He was glued to the screen on the back of the seat in front of him..
Valkyrie was on..
I cupped my face in my hands..
My neck hurt..
My eyes stung..
My back ached..
The left side of my head was pounding..
Paja paja in both feet, from sitting in one spot for too long..
Plus, I needed a wee..
And I had 167 unread posts..
Damn..
Three hours later..
I was standing behind a yellow line..
Watching the blue uniformed guy, play Larry King with the lady in front of him..
She glanced away.. Rolled her eyes..
Then glared at him in exasperation..
Earphones buzzing in my ears, my eyes travelled south..
Curly weave.. Short yellow dress.. Abortion belt.. Black shiny tights.. Heels..
Waiting my turn, my lips moved to the voices of Lil’ wayne & Shawn Carter..
"Hey Mr Roc
I am him!
Tell me where you been?
Around the world and back again
They been asking, they been searching, they been wondering.."
The blue uniformed guy motioned me over..
I pulled the earphones out..
"How you doing today, sir?" He asked.
"Great.." I replied
"You been anywhere else before arriving here today?"
"Yeah.. Amsterdam and Guadalupe.. "
"Okay, enjoy your stay there?"
"Enjoyed the weather better" I responded
"Great stuff.. Place your thumb on the screen..
Now the other four fingers..
Now the other hand..
Now stand in front of the camera..
That's fine.." Handing my passport back to me
"Have a great stay in the United States.." He said, as he motioned the next person to the glass partition..
"Thanks", I muttered, slipping my passport back into my pocket..
My head swivelled 180 degrees scanning the terminal, as I walked away..
Eyes honing in on what it sought..
A yellow dress sashaying in the distance..
Hands flicking hair over a bare shoulder..
I quickened my step..
When grandeur plans fall..
Actually, three hundred and sixty one days..
From the first day..
When we'd first become.. official
She figured I'd forgotten..
But that was always the plan..
To surprise her..
I read the online reviews..
The hotel had a four-star rating..
But the customers rated it a five..
A five minute walk to the beach..
I booked it..
Bought the plane tickets..
British Airways..
Departure time.. Friday, 1920 hrs..
To return sometime on Thursday..
I emailed the hotel..
Added on a few extras..
They confirmed..
There'd be, champers on ice...
A dozen red roses waiting, when we arrived...
I packed her stuff..
Shoes..
Clothes..
Travel documents..
Then I packed mine..
Showed up at her office..
Just before she closed..
Approximately 40 minutes, before..
"Roc?" She said, as she walked into the reception..
"What are you doing here?" she asked, quizzical look on her face..
"Do you reckon you can leave now?" I asked..
Her brow furrowed, "Probably.. I'll just need to shut down my computer, but.."
"Go on then.." I replied, easing into a seat, "..quick as you can"
Twenty five minutes later..
Sitting on the Heathrow Express, from Paddington station..
She battered me with questions..
"So where are you going?"
"How come you never mentioned it before?"
"Is this work-related?"
"How long will you be gone for?"
And to every question..
She got the same answer..
"You'll find out, when we get there"
We alighted at the airport..
Walked into the terminal..
Her eyes widened, as we joined the queue..
"You're going to.. Nice? South of France?"
"We.. Not I.. We.." I responded
"You know I can't do that, Roc.. Work and all.." she cantered..